21 07 2014

If you own a car and decide to use it for its intended purpose you are going to be forced to interact with other drivers and become one yourself. The former of course depends on the population density of the place in which you choose to reside. These drivers (including you) are going to exhibit peculiarities in their driving habits. I will set out here to describe the variety of drivers one can expect to encounter. It is possible for a driver to present several of these traits at the same time.

Speed Racer – This driver’s goal is to always arrive at their destination before the drivers around them, whether or not they are all going to the same place or not. They can be identified by excessive speeds and constant lane changing. They are motivated by a need for speed and have a wonton disregard for the rules of the road.

Foilers – When Foilers see someone signaling to get into the lane in front of them, they will speed up in order to close up any gaps that exist between them and the rest of the traffic. This tendency makes them the arch enemies of the Speed Racers in that they have taken it upon themselves to impede traffic weaving. Foilers are often motivated by antagonism toward other drivers, but it can also be a manifestation of self-righteousness or alternatively, mischievous tendencies especially if the action is taken in response to a Speed Racer.

Obliviots – Some drivers are more absorbed in what is going on inside their car than outside. The result can be reduced speed, tail gating and/or trouble staying in one lane. This kind of driving often involves cell phone use, but may also be caused by in-person conversations, radio tuning or off-key singing.

Blind Spotters – These drivers are often encountered pulling out in front of other drivers. Driving slowly afterwards is just a bonus. These drivers also change lanes without looking and could be considered the most dangerous of all the drivers on the road.

Bass Case – These can be identified by the deep booming sounds emanating from their vehicles. While they are getting a back massage, their fellow drivers are receiving an audible treat (at least in their minds). Too often, the acoustics of their vehicle are not conducive to the stereo system and it ends up sounding like a boom box in a trash can.

Lost Souls – Much more prevalent before the advent of GPS, these drivers are identifiable by slow speeds, random braking and ill-conceived u-turns.

Clueless – These drivers forget the rules of the road at times. Symptoms include driving slow in the fast lane and sitting motionless with their right blinker on when the light is green. The erratic driving of the Clueless can be dangerous and they are best avoided.

Road Ragers – Nothing any driver does will satisfy a Road Rager. They feel no compunction about taking their anger out on other drivers for the slightest offences. Their behavior includes excessive speeds, driving recklessly, cutting other off and signaling drivers to pull over in order to participate in fisticuffs.

Politely Correct – Polite drivers willingly slow down to let other drivers enter their lane when they see a blinker. They keep a safe distance behind other drivers and always use their blinkers.

These are just a few of the types of drivers you may encounter or wish to avoid on your journey. If you are one, well, let’s just hope that you’re the last one.




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