Future Tech: Teleportation

26 09 2011

Teleportation has changed society in ways that could never have been foreseen.  The reality of teleportaion is a lot different than what is portrayed in shows like Star Trek mostly because of the inability of mankind to resist bureaucracy.  Besides employing thousands of otherwise worthless individuals, bureaucracy exists to take the most wonderful technological developments and bog them down in so much paperwork as to make the technology only marginally useful.

Let’s start by examining the process for obtaining a teleportation visa or TV, for short.  It starts with a personal visit to the Government Teleportation Office or GTO.  Most major cities have one of these offices.  They are usually on the top floor of the tallest government building in the city.  Like all government buildings they’ve taken out the elevators in an effort to eliminate redundancies due to teleportation technology.  Presumably, since you are visiting the office to obtain your TV, you will not be using the teleporter and instead will need to take the stairs.

Most GTOs have a reception area where you will be presented with numerous forms that will need to be filled out.  These include the Background Check, Liability, Next of Kin, References and Insurance Forms.  Be sure that you come ready with your dental records, medical history, birth certificate and Social Security Card or you will be turned away.  After you fill out the forms, they will draw blood in order to run a full DNA analysis on you.  This costs extra and requires a payment up front.

Hopefully you’ve made an appointment before hand for the Teleportation Awareness Course or TAC.  It is required in order for you to receive your TV and can only be taken at the GTO.  It is also advantageous to have studied the material beforehand; the test cannot be retaken within the same twenty-four hour period.

Now that you have your TV, you are ready to load money onto it.  This can be done at the GTO or at vending machines located near Teleporter Stations throughout your area.  Monthly passes are available that significantly reduce the cost of teleporting and are geared toward daily commuters.

If you plan to take advantage of the Teleport From Anywhere Program, or TFAP, you will also need to purchase peripherals.  There are numerous options available.  The easiest, if you have a smart phone, is to purchase the Teleportation app that turns your smart phone into a transponder.  The app is linked to your account and your current TV.

The other option is to buy a device called a Communicator that contains the transponder and is linked to your TV account.  The basic model is a hand held device similar in size to a flip-phone and is activated when you flip it open.  The higher end model clips to your shirt or jacket and is known colloquially as a Comm Badge.  The Comm Badge activates when you tap it.  Both models initiate teleportation with a voice prompt.

Without a transponder, teleportation can only be accomplished between Teleporter Stations.  With a transponder, only your starting point or destination needs to be a Teleporter Station.  Most commuters do not live close to Teleporter Stations but rather work near them.  To initiate teleport from your home, you activate your device with the preset coordinates of your destination Teleport Station.  The Transponder establishes a link with the station and the teleportation process begins.

Teleporting from a Teleporter Station to your home is a little more complicated and requires that your home be designated a Destination Site.  A Certified Domicile Inspector, or CDI, needs to come to your home and inspect and approve your Traveler Reception Area or TRA.  This is a designated place in your home that needs to remain clear of obstructions at all times.  Getting a CDI to your house can take several weeks so plan ahead.

Once your home contains a TRA, you are eligible to receive a Home Transport, or HT card.  This is given to the attendant at the Teleporter Station so that he can Teleport you to the proper location.

The teleport system can also be used for personal travel as well as commuter travel.  Temporary vouchers with your TRA address can be sent to friends or family who would like to visit.  These can be printed out by your visitors and act just like your HT card.

Remember that teleportation is almost completely safe and has lower instances of fatality than all other forms of transportation combined (including walking!).  However, users should be aware of the dangers that include: Anatomical Recombination with Insects, Transporter Psychosis, Mirror Universe Destinations, Divergent Personality Twinning, Boundary Reflection Twinning, Divergent Genetic Twinning, Multiple Genome Recombination, Malformation Dysfunction, Reverse Geriatric Molecular Reversion, Predestination Time Paradox and Molecular Phase Inversion among others.

Be safe and enjoy the new freedom this new technology offers!

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